Walking away

In retrospect I suppose I am relieved England didnt work out for
me....going back to the UK showed me that I have outgrown that nation
and that my home is no longer there....I guess I have become
Americanized, I even began to find Suzy tiresome after only 3 weeks,
and this is a woman I had pined for for almost 7 years. Her life and her world are far too small and parochial for me and although the realization was painful for me, I knew what I had to do.
Coming back here wasnt easy for me....I had left with such high hopes
for the future in the UK, and for them to be dashed on the harsh rocks
of reality in such a short time was devastating for my already slender
grasp on sanity and when I got back here I lost my battle to remain
sane....luckily I am surrounded by a group of people at work who see
this sort of thing all of the time and they were able to keep me from
killing myself for long enough for some healing to take place.
It was during this time that I got my new work partner....and although very young she took very good care of me when I was unwilling and unable to take care of myself.
Our partnership grew into one of the best at the company and we were a highly
effective ambulance crew, we trusted each other totally and even
socialized platonically after work. we worked together for about 5
months and then she had to leave the company to go to medicaL
school....(she is going to be a Dr). The week before she left, when we
we were faced by the very real prospect of never seeing each other
again we both realized that what we had was much more than a good
working relationship, and before either of us realized what was
happening we were no longer platonic.
I have had some very grave reservations about the viability of this
relationship, because of my history and the age difference (she is
only 23). We are more or less living together now and my divorce
papers will be filed next month.